VetBeverly Hills Predator
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Barret
Barret's Thai Blog, entry #7. "The Shittening."
So today, I had the shittiest day, literally, and its only been 2 hours.
Managed to get sick, as i do every 2-3 weeks, because Thai people don't understand hygiene. "Ops I got some poop on my hands, no worries, I flushed my hand with dirty water so now I can touch your food safely". My head aches, throat hurts, I feel dizzy, coughing up unholy amounts of slime, and have a fever.
But that wasn't enough was it, I had to eat some dodgy food from a market yesterday, and managed to get food poisoning as well. I'm currently peeing yellow water out of my ass, there's not really any poop there, I just drink water and it passes right though. Also feel like throwing up constantly.
But wait! There's more! I had to go to the immigration office today to extend my visa for 30 days, again, and as everyone keeps suggesting, i went early, because its a cramped office building filled to the brink with people waiting to hand in papers, or have them handed out to them. Thai bureaucracy is shit, and is basically just about handing money to the right people, so one can expect at least an hour of waiting time, if you're lucky. They constantly change or make up new rules, so they have an excuse to give you fines and shit, they wanna make sure you know who's boss.
It opens 8am, I made it there 7:55. To my surprise, there were more people there then I've ever seen, building is jammed full, the line goes through the parking lot outside and all the way to the road. After an hour of waiting, the line didn't seem to be shortening, and I dunno if I could even wait that long in line without shitting myself (I already took a shitting break while writing this).
To top it all off, I'm having multiple issues with my papers, my landlord failed to register my new address with her, even though I argued with her forever about it, over a month ago, and she PROMISED she would go do it (its Thai law that she has to), this can lead to additional fines that I have to pay if i want to extend my visa. That's right, the tourist has to pay the fine if he wants to stay, very clever isn't it, now they are guaranteed that the money will be paid. She already told me flat out that she would never pay that fine, so she basically admitted to being a criminal. Welcome to the land of smiles.
Also! I made a mistake and read my visa wrong, because they wrote 2 different dates in it, and they gave me 29 days extra last time, not 30, it actually expired yesterday, meaning I have one day overstay, which alone is enough that I can be fined, arrested, sent out of the country, or even be blacklisted from coming back, depending on what kind of mood they are in today. Immigration was also closed yesterday, so I couldn't have fixed the visa anyway.
So I did the only thing that is logical, went back home to have a few hours of sleep, hopefully without shitting the bed, going back later. If i don't comment on the site later today, it just means that I'm busy being raped while shitting myself in Thai Prison.
Intermission due to shit number 2 while writing this. user:Barret plays elevator music
I have about 3 hours, any suggestions on how to stop shitting before then? I already had a dry cheese ham sandwich with some fries for breakfast, hoping that will clog the system long enough.
Picture related : https://i.imgur.com/s8EyT7h.jpg
VetVetVetmakodragon
I thought I had a shitty day...
Thanks for making me realize that relatively speaking, I had a fucking glorious day!
VetCartersBird
Okay so my last comment I only looked at the picture and didn't read the story.
That's my worst nightmare.
Crap-my-pants sick in a foreign country with a legal threat looming.
VetVetBarret
Going back to the office now, feels like my brain has shut down 80%, must have slept 30 times in 1-2 minute periods. I think its gonna be alright though, have a good feeling about it. If i get in trouble I can just bribe someone and it will be fine.
Its really my on fault for waiting until the last possible day to go, going near Russians the other day, and not checking my visa dates thoroughly.
Vettruckerhatjonesthe Golden
i think maybe you should move out of thailand if you get squirts twice a month
VetBarret
No not the squirts, just fevers headaches and shitty throats and that shit. Possibly due to the old aircon in my room that runs almost 24/7, or just people coughing around everywhere at the market. Ironically, my stomach is more stable then ever when I'm here, its usually very sensitive and i get the shits all the time back home.
ZuckerVetBarret
The aircon thing? yeah probably.
Well now I got my papers in order, only took 3 hours of waiting in line, never go to thailand in December January if you plan on staying more then 30 days...
That big line you see on the picture, that's just the first line to get your papers. Then you have to fill in the papers, and do the line over again, and then you can get a waiting number for the real line, which is the truly slow one.
Followed by the first line, again. Followed by the last and also slow line. If you're lucky and you got all your papers right.
For some reason they didn't care about my overstay and paper issues today, guess they were too busy, go figure.
Time to celebrate by passing out and shitting another 20 times.
Zucker 
ZuckerVetZucker
Arnold is one cruel bastard.